


I'll keep you in my heart

by resistoperniall



Category: YG Entertainment | YG Family, YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Cuddles, Cuteness overload, First Kiss, Fluff, Lack of self-esteem, M/M, YG treasure box - Freeform, a little sad, i'm SOFT, mashiho is a baby, writing letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resistoperniall/pseuds/resistoperniall
Summary: In which Mashiho fears he may not debut and decides to write a letter to his lovely Junkyu - just in case he has to go back to Japan.





	I'll keep you in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!   
> There are just a couple of things I wanna point out.  
>  1\. English is not my first language and this is my first time writing a fanfiction in English so, please, forgive me for any possible mistake (you can point them out in the comments so that I can fix them!)   
>  2\. This (whatever it is) is very fluffy and soft, but sad af actually.   
>  3\. Translations are welcomed, as long as you give credit! If you want to translate this oneshot, just let me know in the comment section below. And if you do, I'll post the link to your version here!  
>  4\. Also, please if you have twitter keep tweeting using the hashtags #DebutTreasure13 #DebutMashiho and #MashihoAsThe8thMember. We need to get YG attention if we want Mashi to debut. If you want, you can add me there and retweet my tweets. We have to make the hashtags trend (I'm @/resistopernjall)!
> 
> Okay, that's all. Enjoy!

#  **I’LL KEEP YOU IN MY HEART**

 

_“Feels like our time has stopped_  
Doesn’t anything last forever in this world?  
Even after time, will you remember me?  
With these faraway traces?  
  
Don’t forget about me.  
 _Don’t forget, don’t forget_  
My dear, don’t forget me  
Don’t forget us don’t forget me  
Everything about me.”  
  
 _(Don’t Forget, iKON)_  
  
 

   
It was already dark outside and the clock on his phone read 8:25pm. Although it was pretty early, Junkyu had already fallen asleep, exhausted because of practice. Mashiho, sat on the floor with his back against the side of Yedam’s bed, looked at him. His red and soft lips were parted, his eyelashes gently laid on his rosy cheeks and a few little strands of hair covered his closed eyes. The computer, left on on his lap, cast a light show on the fair skin of his face. He was breathtakingly beautiful and Mashiho found himself craving for some contact. He got up and, once he had reached the other, he sat on his side, carefully trying not to wake him up. He knew how tiring practice could be, especially now that they had to get ready for the last stage. It was their last chance and they had to give their best. As everyone else, he had overworked himself lately but there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to debut more than anything, no matter how tired he would get and how much his legs and back hurt because of the endless practice of the dance routine.

Seeing Junkyu’s face frowning, for the first time that week, Mashiho realized how tired he was. Overwhelmed by tiredness, he heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t allow himself to give up to his weariness. There were just two days left before the competition and he still had to fix the latest details of the choreography. Lost in his thoughts, he gently caressed Junkyu’s hair and then traced his delicate features with his fingertips. In that exact moment, the awful idea of possibly having to leave him behind hit him and made him gasp. He was a hundred percent sure Junkyu would debut. He was exactly the perfect kind of guy who comes to the mind whenever someone thinks of an idol. But he? …he was nothing special. He was still lacking in many ways and sometimes his Korean still made him stumble. How could he even debut if he was so unsure of himself?  
He shut his teary eyes, stopping the tears from falling. He didn’t want to cry, not when Junkyu was beside him and could hear him. It would make him worried sick. The only time he had talked to him about his fears and lack of self-esteem, Junkyu, staring at him with his eyes widened, had shouted, «Yah! Don’t you even dare to say something like this…ever again! You’re amazing, okay? And I believe in you». That time, he had cried for a good twenty minutes and Junkyu had tried to calm him down whispering reassuring words in his ear. That was the first time they had kissed as well. Junkyu was wiping his tears and his touch was so gentle that Mashiho found himself leaning against the palm of his hand. He was looking down, but he could feel Junkyu’s gaze on him. A few seconds later they were staring at each other, Mashiho’s eyes still filled with tears and Junkyu’s hands cupped around his wet cheeks. All he could hear in that moment was the deafening sound of his racing heartbeat. The next minute, Junkyu’s lips were pressed against his and Mashiho had realized that he had unknowingly longed for it. The soft and gentle kiss soon turned into a desperate one, their tongues kept intertwining and expressing the need to rely on one another. They had slept in the same bed, that night. Tired from crying, Mashiho had fallen asleep on his lap and Junkyu couldn’t find the courage to wake him up.

When Junkyu, still fast asleep, moved a little to adjust himself into a more comfortable position, Mashiho leaned down and pressed his lips against his exposed forehead. Then he got up, he took some sheets of paper and a pen from his bag, and sat back on the floor, his eyes still fixed on Junkyu. He was not sure what he was going to write, he just suddenly felt the need to put that confused amount of thoughts – that didn’t allow him to think clearly – down. He put on his headphones and pressed play. Bigbang’s “ _if you_ ” echoed in his ears and he started murmuring the lyrics to himself.

It had been over a half an hour, when Junkyu woke up. Mashiho was still sitting there, passionately writing words from his heart. Junkyu yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked around, wondering where the other could be. He was sure he was still there when he had fallen asleep. When his eyes laid on the younger, a smile hovered around his lips. Mashiho was tired, it was easy to tell. Bags were clearly visible under his puffy eyes. He was sitting with his legs crossed, his back against the side of the bed. He was writing something on a piece of paper, while running his free hand through his messy hair. He was adorably cute. He wanted to hug him and take in his weariness and all of his worries. He hated seeing him like that.

«Babe» he called out with a hoarse sleepy voice, trying to get his attention.

Mashiho looked up and gave him a small and tired smile. «You woke up» he said, hiding a yawn behind the back of his hand.

«What are you doing?» Junkyu asked, stretching his legs and adjusting himself under the blankets. «Come here, I need some cuddles».

The latter laughed. His hyung could really be a child sometimes. He quickly wrote the last few words, before folding the letter and hiding it in his backpack. He would give it to him only if he had to get back to Japan.

When he reached the bed, Junkyu immediately moved to make him some space. Mashiho laid beside him, resting his head on the curve of Junyu’s neck and pressed a soft kiss on his skin. Junkyu pulled him closer, taking him into his arms. «What were you doing?» he asked, a few inches away from his lips. That short distance gave Mashiho goosebumps.

He thought for a while before answering. «Just working on my Korean. You know I need to keep practicing if I want to improve».

«Mashi» he called, his tone accusatory. «I’m not buying it. Are you okay?».

He was starting to tear up again, but he didn’t want to make his boyfriend worry anymore. So he hid his face on his chest, tightening the grip around his hips and nodding. He just wanted to make the most of every moment with him.

«You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?» he asked, gently running his fingers through his hair.

«I know, thanks» Mashiho whispered, trying to hold back tears. «I love you».

«I love you too, babe» he answered, pressing a kiss on his head. «Do you want me to stay here tonight?»

«Yes, please».

It didn’t take long for the both of them to fall asleep that night, their minds full of thoughts, fears and unspoken words. Little did they know that it was their last night together.  
 

*  
 

_01.16.2019_

  
_Junkyu hyung,_

 _If you could see me right now, you would probably be pissed. I know you hate it when I surrender to my low self-esteem, but it’s stronger than me._ What if I can’t debut with him? _That’s what I thought while I was watching you sleeping a moment ago. You were so beautiful that I suddenly felt overwhelmed and I lost my breath. That’s the effect you have on me. I think I haven’t told you enough though. That you’re beautiful, I mean. I’m probably going to repeat it till you get sick of it during this last couple of days we have before the final stage. I must compensate, just in case I don’t get to debut. I know you’re frowning right now, you always do it when you hear something you don’t like. But it’s the truth and I have had this…bad feeling for the last few days._

 _Well, if you’re reading this letter it means that it’s happened. I couldn’t make it. So, the first thing I wanna tell you is that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t debut with you and that our dreams shattered because of me. I tried my best, for myself and for you and because I wanted you to look me in the eyes and tell me you were as proud of me as I was of you. But I guess it wasn’t enough. Or maybe_ I _wasn’t? I was scolded during practice on Tuesday. It had been a long time since I’ve been scolded because I couldn’t get the dance routine right. I had too many thoughts and I couldn’t focus, I almost messed everything up. In fact, I did, didn’t I? I’m so sorry I had to leave you. I’m probably back to Japan while you’re reading and I’m sure I’m missing you like hell. You’re probably wondering why I decided to write you a letter instead of saying all this looking at you, right? The truth is…I would immediately start crying and I know you hate seeing me cry._

_Hyung, I was the happiest with you. You gave me the strength to keep going, you were the first one who believed in me and I’m so grateful. It’s only thanks to you that I’ve made it this far. I’m sorry I disappointed you. You trusted me, but I probably wasn’t worthy of your trust._

_Junkyu, I will miss you the most. I’ll miss your laugh and your silly jokes and that beautiful smile of yours. I’ll miss practicing with you (and make out sessions during breaks_ obviously _). I’ll miss your hugs and the way you call me “babe” when you’re needy or when you think something is wrong. I’ll cherish these lovely moments forever and I’ll keep you in my heart. Hyung, don’t forget me!_

_Please, don’t cry. I am so proud of you and you must be too. I know this wasn’t the plan, I know you wanted to debut with me and I know we wished to be together, but we’ll figure it out._

_We’ll see each other soon._

_I love you,_  
 _Mashi._  
   
   
 


End file.
